Interview by Lauren Cho, Benjamin Yoo, and Da In Choi

This is a rough transcript.

When and where were you born? 

I was born in 1950 in Korea. I was born in Korea. I was born in Gyeonggi-do, about 30 minutes away from Seoul Capital. I was born there. I moved to Seoul when I was young. So I went to school in Seoul, graduated from high school in Korea, and came to the United States. After coming to America, I went to Tennessee University in Nashville and had a hard time in various ways. So I studied a little bit, while working and staying. But I just did it for a few years and lived an empty life. Yes, so I did what I had to do and I had a little to no social life. I didn’t adjust to the new environment, so I never worked an actual job. Even when I was that young. So, the only thing I did was a little work and stayed on campus. And after living like this, it was 80, I mean 1980, not 80. When was it? I got married when I was 27 and gave birth to our oldest son at 31. So my son is now 40 years old. Then I gave birth to a daughter. She is now 40 years old. She is now married and lives in New York. New Jersey. And our son lives here. Yes, and as I got older, I've worked at other people's companies a little bit. I also worked in a retail store a little bit, and then it's been 16 years since I've retired. I haven't worked at all since then, just hanging out at home. And now I've been living in an apartment for the elderly for eight years. You see, there's nothing more to do. I've been eating, sleeping, and playing… 

Did you immigrate to go to college? 

No, I didn’t immigrate because of that. I had relatives living here. So when I came to visit, they told me that I should study abroad since I was very young at that time. But as you know, I couldn’t speak English, so it was difficult for me to adjust to an American life. And at that time, it was very… Well, at that time, African Americans and Asians were not treated like human beings. Even when I just walked around in a market, they chased me and slanted their eyes toward me. When I stared back at them, they treated me as if I was the wrong one. Especially children. They would run back to their parents and cry, acting like I threatened them. It was like that back then… Well, I was told about this before I immigrated. Told that I would be discriminated against a lot. I was bothered by this, but there was nothing I could have done about it. Yeah, that’s right… I couldn’t say anything back, so I just endured through it. It was hurtful, but I wanted to live in this country so… I just endured. And that’s how I’ve been living my whole life. It has been 50 years since I came here. Even though I lived for 50 years, I still can’t speak English very well. Both my children, the oldest and the youngest, were born here, in New York and in the same hospital. I can’t communicate well with them. We couldn't communicate well with them in the same hospital. I can understand my daughter about 70 percent and my son about 40 percent. Still, my son tells me that my English is good. I know it isn’t… Well, I don’t really care now since I’m old. However, when I’m watching TV and a word that I don’t know comes up, I write it down immediately. And after, I try to figure out what the word is and edit it. For example, when the word “tomorrow” comes up, I write it down in both Korean and English side by side. Whenever I try to remember a word, I open this notebook and since it’s well organized, I can find where it is. But, to be honest, I still have a hard time memorizing it. 

Do you think racism has gotten worse in Koreatown right now? Or do you feel like it’s gotten a little better? 

I didn't live here. I lived in Tennessee. It's a very conservative state, and it's an educational zone. It was terrible. For example, even though we were being discriminated against, we also discriminated against Black people. There was a time when I went to a house to clean for them and they would write a check for me. But, I couldn’t enter the house. They wrote the check and stuck it on top of a garbage can in the garage. I wasn’t able to get that until I finished cleaning. That’s how bad it was. And when I went to a market with my family, white people, particularly children, would come and slant their eyes toward us. I couldn’t say anything since I couldn’t speak English, so I just stared at them. When I did that, they would run back to their mom and dad to cry. Act like I hit them. I tried my best to explain that I didn’t, just with gestures. It was the 70s afterall… 

You said you lived in New York, when did you move there from Tennessee? 

I don't know the exact time. I forgot it. My husband and I lived in Tennessee for a while, and then we lived in New York and got married there. We did business, and rent prices were expensive in New York at that time as well. So we lived in New York for five years, then moved to New Jersey. Philadelphia was close from there, so we did business there. Kids' dads did what he did, and I did what I did. Yeah, I competed in Italian Town in Philadelphia. I ran a small store there. It was my mistake to go inside Italian Town though. Italians very much looked down on Asians. And besides that, it was a mafia town. They kept interrupting my business, so I quit because I was afraid. Now my kids' dad, just across a small bridge from where we lived was Cherry Hill, he ran a business there. And then we moved here in '86. That’s when I came here to L.A. 

Were you still discriminated against when you moved to LA? 

In LA, at least for me, I didn’t feel like I was. Yeah, so I did wholesale here on Western Street. We were a wholesaler, and the economy was good at the time. It was so good at that time that, to put it bluntly, we weren’t intimidated anymore. But it wasn’t like that forever. Yeah, I lived like that and my kids attended elementary school at that time. Then I started working in a retail store as a manager for 10 years. I worked for the same people in Melrose. Melrose Avenue and Poinsettia. That’s where I worked. I also worked in Little Tokyo after some time. But eventually, after working like that, I cleaned everything up and moved out of the state. I started hating this place. Strangely, I suffered a lot. I signed a lot of co-signs for people I knew very well. But, it all completely fell to the ground. Everyone that I co-signed for, escaped to somewhere else, so all the damage came directly to me. That’s why, after that, since I had experience working in a retail store, I worked for another person’s store. But, I eventually quit. You know, if you work in someone else's house, it’s different. If the business is good, it's exciting, but if the business is not good, the owner and the worker are both stressed. So that's why I quit. Like that, it’s been 16 years since I retired. I just played around since then. I don't have any income coming in, but I'm living in a senior apartment right now. That's how I've been living. That's all. 

Were the people you worked with also Korean? 

No, they were foreigners. There were foreigners, Spaniards, and some Koreans. There were high school students, college students that worked under me and they were all foreigners. All the customers were foreigners. A lot of celebrities came at that time too. You know Nicholas Cage's wife, Korean, I know her well. Nicholas Cage came too. Well, at the time, there were a lot of foreign customers because I had a job that required me to work with foreigners. 90 percent were all foreigners. But there were also a lot of thieves. 

In Koreatown? 

No, Melrose. Not Koreatown. Melrose and Hollywood. 

In LA, there were many historically bad cases, especially between Koreans and African Americans… 

Yes, I worked in a Korean clothing store for about six months. The clothing store was on the second floor of the Asian market. I don't know if I should say this or not, but it's not very easy to work in a Korean workplace. Koreans don't care about someone’s age, and experience doesn't matter. If they’re an owner, they can be informal as much as they want. They ask you to do something in a rude way. Foreigners don't do that. They don’t hurt your feelings. But Koreans really hurt your feelings. So I avoided Korean workplaces if possible, and I was comfortable with foreigners. 

Did you feel more dangerous here in LA due to COVID? 

Yes, it is dangerous. I once did a police report and I was on TV. It was on the local news because I got assaulted by a homeless man. [I was] with my friend, [at] Western California Market? We were walking there chatting, and out of the blue, a man dug into the middle of us, hit my friend with his elbow, and hit me onto a wall. I was hurt here, and the police came in an hour or two after. They told me I had to report it, but I didn't want to do it. The police told me that I had to though – to spread awareness and so that more people would be careful. And then, it was on the local news. Yes, that's right. And as you know, I go to the bank once a month to get money. Everytime, I get scared. I look back once a while and view my surroundings when I just hear a little sound. I live near H-Mart and everytime I go there, I see homeless people in their tents, screaming. It’s really scary now. The city really needs to take some action and stop this. Sometimes when I’m alone, I think to myself, the U.S. is now longer a good place to live. The good times have gone and I have to live with anxiety. It’s not just LA by the way. I went to visit my daughter in August and of course, in Manhattan, the homeless are worse than here. You can’t even talk about it. But, I can’t find any homeless people in New Jersey, where my daughter lives. It’s really nice there. Here, it’s so dirty and there’s a lot of homeless, but there’s nothing I can do. We just have to live together. 

Do you think the economic situation got worse due to COVID? 

Of course. That's for sure. Everyone feels it. But what can I do? I'm not the only one. I'm not alone. Because the whole world is going through a hard time right now, I can't help it. It's really hard for me. It was always like that for me. I've lived like this for a long time now, so I'll just continue to do so, but I feel so sorry for young people. All big companies now cut off employees, too. So now, I can only think about where young people will go from now on. My son and daughter both are still young, but they're not the only ones. I feel bad for all the young people. Like truth be told, people my age, we get elderly funds every month. Our rent isn't too pricey. So we all live with much less worry. However, for the young people, the apartment rent prices keep going up, living expenses keep going up. Companies keep laying off their employees. I feel sorry for all of them. Really. 

Did you ever regret leaving Korea because of the racism you faced in the States? 

I've never had any regrets. I came here when I was very young and there was a lot of good food to eat, like fruits. I was very happy thanks to that. I was also happy because I was free to do whatever I want. Like when I was young, I wore a mini skirt. In Korea, when you wear clothes like that, police officers come up to you and hit your legs with their batons due to it being so short. But when I moved here, even when I wore those or ripped jeans or shirts that show your stomach, no one cared. Well, I was very young back then so it was possible. My skin was still great, so I was confident to wear those kinds of clothes. I did get upset sometimes when I couldn’t communicate well due to my lack of knowledge in English. But I never had any regrets. Once when I visited Korea, it was very fun. Lots of good food, but I wanted to come back after just two weeks in Korea. I could’ve gone back to Korea and just started living there again, but the U.S. is still a great country. It’s because of the pandemic that it’s gotten a little dangerous. Before, it wasn’t so bad. Like almost everyday I went out. Not to just shop, but when I got bored, I took the bus and went to Beverly Connection to spend time there. It was great. However, now I can’t even take the bus because I’m scared. Yeah, it’s like that now. But to say it again, I never regretted anything. 

You said that the situation has gotten a lot worse because of COVID. Do you think the government has a solution to fix it now? 

Well, the government is trying their best right now. They're trying hard. I don't think I'm in a position to say do this or that. From what I can tell, they’re trying. Like when the pandemic was at its worst, the state government and the federal agency tried their best to help us. In my opinion, they should try to solve the homeless crisis first. If that gets fixed, we’ll be able to freely walk the streets. 

You talked about your bad experiences in Koreatown, can you elaborate? 

In Koreatown – I'm also Korean – but I feel that there are a lot of Korean people, especially those who run a restaurant and a clothing store, running bad businesses. As you know, I don't buy a dress and go to parties, I just live in a casual house. I buy clothes at a cheap price when I go to places like Ross, T.J. Max, Marshalls, or Nordstrom. But it's too expensive in Koreatown when I compare the prices. One time, there was a spring/fall sale at a Western department store. It was a big sale. But the original price was already high enough and even half of that price was too expensive. And when we look at restaurants now, well, I understand them since all the living expenses went up and it’s hard for them, but it’s just too much right now. There’s a restaurant that I went to eat with my friend and the price was around $11.99. That was about a year or actually less than a year ago. Do you know how much is it right now? $22. That’s too much. It’s not just this restaurant. There’s a clothing store that sells nice winter pajamas. It’s made with microfiber and it was only $19.99. It was warm and nice and I wore them at home. Now it’s over $30. Of course, there’s a commission fee, but in less than a year, the price almost doubled. That’s why I really don’t like shopping in Koreatown now.I don't want to. It’s good to help Korean businesses and my friends feel the same way, but it’s just too much. I still go and buy them since they fit people around my age’s body shape, but I try not to buy anything else. I don’t want to. I’m sorry. 

Do you still have a favorite place or favorite thing to do in Koreatown? 

I don't have anything I like in Koreatown. When I meet my friends, I go to Glendale Americana and do eye shopping. Then, [I] go to a place like the Cheesecake Factory, and have a light meal. Or just go to the Beverly Connection like I mentioned before. There’s also the Beverly Shopping Center close from there. How fun is that? On the other hand, there is nowhere to have fun in Koreatown. 

Now what do you think it means to live here as an immigrant in the United States? 

Rather than saying it means anything, I just want to say that I wanted to live a proper life in the United States. That's the only thing I wanted. I didn’t want anything else. I'm sure most immigrants do as well. They say they came because of the American dream, but they just wanted to live a proper life. To put it simply, just live well. When I immigrated here, Korea at that time was really poor. So, I came to America and wanted to live well in a spacious environment. Everything was abundant here back then compared to Korea. I thought that if I worked hard here, I’d probably live well. I did live well once. Really, I lived well, but it doesn’t matter now. What I'm saying is that I lived my life backwards. That’s what I'm saying. I should have lived well when I'm old, not when I was young. Now I'm living like this… When I was young, I thought that I was going to earn a lot, that I wasn’t gonna get old. That was all just delusions. Now, for the young people, if you make a lot of money, put a little bit of it in your bank account. Like, if you make a hundred dollars, put twenty dollars in the bank. Don’t think that everything will work out just fine in the future. 

In the United States, older people live in places like elderly houses. But traditionally in Korea, children live with their parents. 

You should never expect that from here. I heard that there is no such thing in Korea anymore as well. You are you and I am me. Even if your parents gave birth to you, your life is still yours. In extreme cases, if parents are financially okay even a little bit, the only thing their children do is kill their parents for money and take away the money from them. It's especially true here in the States. You have to live a good life. Don't expect everything from your kids and they shouldn’t expect everything from their parents. If my children give me some pocket money, I will accept them. But no matter how well they live, wanting too much from your child is not allowed. That's just not possible. What I do is just think about my kids from time to time and share their struggles. 

What is your experience of living in an elderly apartment? 

When I first moved in, I cried for three months. The thing is, my apartment is like this. It’s up to the fifth floor and all of the rooms in the apartment have just one bedroom and one bathroom. So, if you walk three steps there’s the kitchen, and three steps from the kitchen there’s the bathroom. I cried for three months. I woke up with the blinds open in the morning and looked outside. The view was great though. You can see the Hollywood Observatory and the Hollywood sign. And at night, the lights are just, it's beautiful. But once you move to that apartment, you’ll have to live there until you die. It’s like a bird cage. Yes, it’s the same as living in a bird cage. I cried for three months. No matter how poorly I lived in the past, I never lived in a room like that. Sometimes I had scary thoughts as well. Of course, you can live in a regular apartment if you can afford it. But that’s not the case for me. I just couldn't sleep properly. I just couldn’t. My friends came to see me at first, but that stopped after that. It gets stuffy in there. That's why we only meet outside. It was miserable for me in many ways. That's why I couldn't help but to cry. That’s my experience… 

As you know, this program collaborates with high school students. Is there any life advice you'd like to impart to them? 

As a parent, I want to say always be kind and work hard. Well, no one knows what will happen to them later on in life and studying a lot doesn’t exactly mean you’ll get good jobs. However, won’t the people who work hard end up in better places than people who don’t? 

So first of all, work hard. I hope you all make a lot of money and get through life well. Parents shouldn’t expect their kids to listen to everything they say. When I tried to scold my son once, he told me “Mom, I wasn't born yesterday. I’m 41 now.” I couldn’t say anything. That’s why, work hard and one day you’ll end up in a better place than the person who didn’t. Just try to study well and not fall into bad temptations. That’s all. Nothing else.