How was your experience immigrating to the U.S.?

It wasn’t very challenging. I immigrated in February 1976, through Hawaii. 

Did you experience any hardships while immigrating?

After graduating from college, I worked as a middle and high school teacher. I taught art but would also teach English, which definitely helped me when it came to communicating fluently. Since getting here, however, it seems like my skills are only deteriorating. Although I am a senior in American society, I am not receiving many benefits from the government. People who came to the U.S. but did not work or pay taxes get many benefits, such as cheap rent and Medi-Cal. Life in the U.S. is getting harder and harder as my pension is insufficient for my living expenses.

I had no idea that this was a thing. It seems really unfair.

America seems fair, right? When I was young, I also thought there was nowhere as fair as America, where people received income based on their work. However, despite the fact that I worked until I was 65, my pension is very small. Rent keeps rising, and I am currently paying $1,400 a month, but even this is considered affordable because it is a senior apartment. On the other hand, those who did not work say they are paying under $300. They get many benefits as they have no income and pay no taxes. When I sent my children to college, they did not receive much financial aid. Those who had their own businesses reported small incomes and were able to send their kids to school without paying a lot of money. Despite the fact that my husband and I worked very hard, we had a difficult time paying for our children’s education. If I think about it now, when I was young, I did not think of how I would live in my old age. People who benefit from the government in their old age call the United States “heaven,” but now that I have no income, it is quite difficult. So, being in an ambiguous position, I found it hard for the middle class to live in American society.

Did you immigrate to the U.S. alone or with your family?

I came to the U.S. after getting engaged. I easily acquired my American citizenship, brought my family to the U.S., and was able to find a job. Everything was fine until my children graduated high school and left for college on the East Coast. Starting from then, life was a bit difficult and lonely. I thought my children would come back to California after graduating from college, but they settled down on the East Coast, so it is even harder now. I miss my old life in Korea, but if I returned now, I would not fit in with the people there. There is a gap between me and the people in Korea — not only because I have been here so long, but also because they are living very well, and I’m not living like that here, so I’m not able to see them often.

What do you think about the violence toward Asian people these days?

I’m not sure. Before the [1992 Los Angeles] riots, I felt that white people really respected Asians. Maybe because the level of education was high at my place of work, I had really good relationships with my coworkers and was never disrespected because I was Asian. The pandemic is already difficult to live through, but hearing about all of the racism that is happening makes it even more depressing. I’ve never been afraid of this sort of thing, as I’ve lived
in Orange County since I came to America, and it’s a quiet area. However, now that I hear of the attacks against Asians, I am too scared to go out in crowded areas. There is a lot of mental stress that comes with it. When it comes to being careful because of COVID-19 and staying home for a year, that’s just the way it is, and everyone goes through it. I pity the younger generation, as it must feel much more suffocating for them.

How was your experience raising children abroad as a first-generation immigrant?

I was originally a Catholic and educated my children according to the word of God, so I didn’t feel any difficulties in raising them. But now that my children live far away after graduating high school, it seems like they have lost the Korean side of them. They seem to have the idea that we are separate as parents and children rather than a single-family unit. My daughter still goes to the cathedral regularly, but my son has neglected his faith, which is very disappointing. My son is married to a Chinese woman, and her parents are Buddhist. I thought she [his wife] would agree to follow his [Catholic] faith after marriage. However, I think my son’s thoughts on life and faith have differed a lot from mine. Even though I don’t see my children often, I pray for them every day, and when I see nice [Bible] verses, I will sometimes send messages to them. My daughter’s family always reads my messages and prays, but I recently found out that my son’s family does not do the same. It is a great pain for me that a child who used to be very devoted has drifted from his faith because we live so far away from each other.

How old are your children?

My second child is 41. My older child is over 45.

Did you expect your children to be more familiar with American culture as they grew up in the United States?

I made my children speak Korean at home, no matter what. Up until my kids graduated from high school, they spoke Korean really well. I felt that for kids born in the U.S., my children were as Korean as they could get and had a lot of respect and love for their parents. I never had to push them to study, as they handled their schoolwork on their own. They also really liked Korean food. When they first went to college, they would often call me and ask, ‘Mom, how do I make this dish?’ They only started thinking of themselves as Americans once we lived far apart. Although they are Korean Americans because they were born here, we lived by implementing Korean values of respect because our ancestors were Korean. I assumed I would have many opportunities to see my children once they graduated from college, but they acted like it was obvious that they should live on the East Coast. It was then that I felt that my kids’ mindsets had definitely changed.

Was there any difficulty finding a Korean community in the U.S.?

When my oldest child was in kindergarten, a Korean cathedral opened for the first time. There was a Korean language school at the cathedral, so my children had the opportunity to learn Korean there.

What do you think about Koreatown?

Since I lived in Orange County, I actually wasn’t aware that there were many Koreans in Koreatown or that it had developed so much. I was so surprised to see Korean businesses burning when the L.A. riots happened [in 1992]. Because I was the only Korean at my workplace, I told my coworkers, “I want to help the Korean community. If you’re interested, please contact this phone number and make a donation.”

Before the riots, I didn’t realize my coworkers had animosity toward Asians. But after it happened, I could tell that they didn’t exactly view Koreans in a positive light. I thought it was an opportunity to improve people’s perceptions of Koreans. A foreigner once told me that Koreans only cared about making money through their businesses and did not donate to or contribute to L.A.’s development. I was surprised. I recall telling them, “I really don’t understand such discrimination happening against Koreans. They help each other, and they have good relationships.”

It seems like people who have received higher education are often not racist. But people who live in vulnerable places without receiving proper education would often think that Koreans came from another country, took their jobs, and became rich. The fact that Koreans became financially wealthy after coming to the United States is the result of their hard work ethic. People with such prejudice are attacking innocent Koreans with violence. COVID-19 originated in China, but Koreans were unfortunately assaulted because they looked Asian. It was not because they had negative sentiments toward Koreans. Rather than that, I think people have a misunderstanding that Asians are living well in the U.S. and are even carrying the virus. Racist people are mentally ill; they’re not normal people.

I’ve been working for about 30 to 40 years since I came to the U.S. in 1976, so I’ve worked with a lot of people. But I’ve never encountered racism. I earned as much as I worked, and I’ve never heard people say, ‘Do this’ or ‘Don’t do this,’ because of my race.