Breathing
“My first experience outside made me feel like I could breathe again.”
I didn’t step outside of my apartment for two months straight.
I felt like the person in the group project who ends up doing all the work. The problem with this analogy, however, is that I can’t singlehandedly wipe out the coronavirus by staying inside. This truly is a group effort. The fact that there are people out there who refuse to wear masks and expect our conditions to improve baffles me.
I’ve nearly finished crocheting a Winnie the Pooh doll for my girlfriend. I’ve written tabs for a song I heard on Spotify. I even choreographed a one-minute dance to a hip-hop song. I could list dozens of other activities that I have done to cope with the quarantine.
The first time I went outside was on Mother’s Day. It was gloomy and cold. The streets were basically empty compared to the last time I was outside. Despite the day seeming drab, it was actually quite refreshing. Going on a walk with my mother helped me to have a conversation with her rather than argue. My girlfriend showed up that same afternoon with flowers for my mother, which was comical since my mother and I planned to arrive at her house to drop off some food. My first experience outside made me feel like I could breathe again.
Eventually though, going outside became dissatisfying. The only reason I’d leave the apartment was to buy groceries with my mom. I yearned to go outside for my entertainment. I wanted to feel the Santa Monica waves crashing on my back. I wanted the LACMA lights to illuminate my love for its beauty. I’m missing my entire summer. I have nearly completed a Summer Precalculus course that has made me complete homework for at least three hours every day. Because of this, my “summer” doesn’t really begin until Wednesday.
News that COVID-19 could end if all people in the U.S. wore masks for about a month has been released recently. My heart dropped. Rather than “flattening the curve,” my country has successfully managed to nearly double the number of cases at the peak of the first one. I, and millions of other people in the U.S., don’t deserve our efforts to have been performed in vain. We deserve to feel like we can breathe again.
(July 19, 2020)